The struggles with infertility reared it's ugly head again today. I wish I could get over this. Today at work I got an invitation for Friday to a baby shower. It is happening on Friday afternoon at work. The woman that is pregnant cried for at least a week after she found out she was pregnant because she was so upset about being pregnant. She is quite a few years younger than me and her girls are in high school and she did not want to start over again. Just hearing that she cried about finding out she was pregnant has been killing me since I heard this in June. I like her, she is a nice person, it is not that. And I honestly don't think she is married either, I don't know for sure, but I don't think she is. I had to deal with this 3 years ago for another co-worker, not married, pregnant with her 3rd child. We (meaning at work) threw a baby shower for her too. Her reason for being so upset about being pregnant??????????????????? Get this, you are not going to believe this, but these are the actual words she said to me!!!!!!!! Because when they go out to eat there will be 5 of them and it will be an uneven number. I told her to have another one then. How do you deal with this??? I really wish I could shut these feeling off. I want to be happy for people when they have babies, I really do.
I think the biggest thing that bugs me is that last December, we adopted Libby and Jon. There was no mention of it at all. NONE!!!! Nobody knew at work unless I told them. I didn't expect a shower, but I really wanted them to let everyone know. But, they didn't. It really, really hurt.
I am so thankful for my 3 babies. I wouldn't want any other children, I love these children with all of my heart and I am so blessed. God blessed my husband and I so much by allowing us to adopt these children. I don't want anyone to think I am ungrateful for the miracle that God has given us, I am not. I just wish we would get the same recognition.
Please excuse this whine. I usually don't post like this, but I needed to get this out tonight.
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